Christmas in July

Dear Mrs. So-and-So:
Though it may not seem like it now, summer is coming. Where we live, it seems we only have 2 seasons- winter and summer, but I can only assume you prefer the former. I am under this assumption because during our insanely hot season it is commonplace for me to walk into your home and feel the need to put on a coat and wrap up in a blanket because you keep your home so cold. I have actually had to bring a sweatshirt with me to work to survive the frigid conditions, which is ridiculous since it is 95 degrees outside! I only mention this because at the rate you pay me, I can't afford health insurance and another summer full of frost-bite-related doctor bills is not something I can financially handle. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for air-conditioning, but if I wanted to work in an igloo I would move to Alaska.
Sincerely,
Mary

P.S. Please don't walk into a room I am in and turn off the light whilst complaining about how it is the source of your high electric bill. Perhaps your frost-covered AC system set to sub-zero temperatures has something to do with it.... I hope this helps.